Relationship Advise

Human nature tends to let down its guard and act its worst around those who we are most familiar with. How you really are is the way you act towards others that you know the best – which are typically those of your own home.





The following are some practical tips for couples:





1. Tell your spouse “I love you” each and every single day.

2. Always say please and thank you. (manners cost nothing)

3. Never demand anything one of another, but ask kindly with respect – like you would from anyone else out side the home.

4. Husbands, you don’t own your wife, so don’t act like it. Don’t be bossy and overbearing and order them around like a slave.

5. Wives don’t nag your husbands. If they have been too busy to get something done that is important to you, and you have already asked them a number of times, try asking them after you have done something nice for them. Or ask if there is anything you can do to help them get started on their project. You will find this goes over much better then telling them “I have been asking for two months now to fix the leaking tap. When are you ever going to get this done? It is so hard to get you to do anything around here!”

6. Husband, thank your wife for each meal, when laundry is done and for how well your clothes have been folded, and when the home is cleaned and what a clean house she keeps. Wives, when you husband fixes something around the home thank him, and when he brings home his check tell him what a good provider he is.

7. Each day ask the other if there is anything you can do for them.

8. You both need to be patient with each other’s weaknesses and faults. You should not make a practice of pointing out eachothers faults over and over. Remember that love will cover a multitude of faults. Deal with the other’s faults the way you want them to deal with yours.

9. Be always seeking what you can put into the marriage – not what you can get out of it.

10. Make a practice of trying to give into each other when there are differences. That way when you really feel strong about something, your spouse will not have such a hard time giving into you.

11. Never discuss each others past faults and mistakes in front of other people. While your spouse may laugh along with you and not say anything about it later, you may have hurt them deep down.

12. Don’t allow a disagreement to escalate into an argument and certainly not in public or in front of your children.

Join Love Discovered today with a paid subscription and stand the chance to win an Android Tablet valued at R3999

What is Love?

What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind. Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true.   Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all.   A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said . Love all Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship.  The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never exist, because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas everyday. But love is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy. In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it.  Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars.   Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that no body is perfect.  Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
William Shakespeare.

Dating Today

Many of the traditional methods of dating are no longer of much use to either sex these days. Though some of even the oldest ideas are still considered romantic in our times, many are not practiced simply because they do not seem to fit in our modern world.

  The well known clichés that accompany a left over standard which may still apply to some, but is so absent in others can sometimes add more complication to dating, rather than making the process an easier one. Such ideas as women's secrets giving their sex an air of mystery or men always being the rougher, less refined half of the sexes, have all but dried up and blown away in the wind.

  In today's society one may find that the ideal woman or man changes from person to person and that to create a standard ideal for the masses is nearly impossible. No depiction in the media or social standard gives men or women an idea of what model they should follow in order to be considered attractive; while this release from obligatory self modeling may be helpful in some ways, many individuals feel lost without a standard to look to.

Along with the erased standards, many traditions of dating have also been scattered to the winds. Such niceties as holding a door or offering an arm may still be considered sweet by some, but may in fact bring out resentment in others. These ideas further apply to the growing idea that men are getting in touch with the softer and more complex emotions that they would previously have attempted to bottle up; men often find this confusing, especially when trying to figure out how sensitive a man should be in order to gain the interest of a woman.

Several years ago single men and women could count on meeting potential mates though work or mutual friends. But that was then and the dating environment has changed. Today, single men and women are busier than ever and they work longer hours, which means it's harder to meet Mr. or Ms. Right! But not to worry, the stigma of dating services and personal ads is basically prehistoric and there are plenty of options to help single people become couples. Today, online dating, speed dating, Lock N Key parties, "It's Just Lunch" and "Eight at Eight" are some of the most popular options to help singles navigate dating in a modern world. 

Let's face it we use the Internet for shopping, travel and work. Why not use the Internet for dating as well? Many online dating services provide potential matches based on religion, ethnic background, occupation and special interests.

Online dating is convenient, inexpensive and the only requirements are hope, luck and Internet connection! Online dating provides one fairly easy way to navigate a busy professional life and maintain a personal life. But be forewarned there is some work involved in identifying a perfect match online. Single hopefuls must peruse countless member profiles; make numerous cyber introductions and wait to see if interest is mutual. 

Meet Eligible Men - 11 ways and counting

Places to Meet Eligible Men become more and more scarce these days.  Heck, even eligible men as they are have become a rare species.

1. The bar

This may be one of the oldest ways to meet a man, but it still works. Free flowing beer makes it easier to approach your target! However, if ‘commitment’ is on your mind, then look elsewhere!

2. The market

Whether it’s the shopping mall or the supermarket these places are loaded up with good looking folks. Chances are you’ll find someone who lives in your neighbor and likes coffee the way you do. A bookstore is another place to meet someone with similar tastes – at least in literature!

3. Online

This is the latest method of meeting single men. There are several online dating sites where you can check out profiles and photographs. The best one I’ve heard of is www.LoveDiscovered.co.za, because they offer both free services and paid, as well as professional image consultants and physiologist advise. Although you’ll have to spend some money on membership its well worth it just on the advise you get. Online dating became a relatively safe method as you can get to know your date before you go out with him.

4. Church

Church is a good place to meet men who share the same faith and moral grounding. If you’re a single mom, this may be a good place to find serious men who are looking for a life partner rather than a night out on the town.

5. The water cooler

If you can get past the gossip, the office is a place where romance can be sparked. Being in such close proximity with colleagues can lead to an office romance. Finding someone of the same intellectual level may be easier at the workplace than at the bar!

6. Newspapers

Check out the newspapers for announcements regarding neighborhood picnics, square dances, tours and special events. These are great places to meet new people, especially single men! Go ahead strike up a conversation. You might end up meeting your spouse.

7. College …

If you’re taking some classes at the local college this could be an opportunity to meet eligible men There are seminars and short courses that you can participate in. Not only can you get an education but you can find that perfect someone perhaps sitting right next to you.

8. Friends

Get your friends to help if you’re serious about finding a man. Attend parties where there is a good mix of singles. Be friendly, outgoing and be seen! You can even throw a party yourself and tell friends to bring their friends along.

9. Gym

While you exercise your muscles you can exercise your heart as well. The gym is a great place to meet single men, specially the hot men! You’ll know in advance that they value their health and you know what to expect when thir expensive suit comes off, so that’s a good starting point!

10. Favorite diner or restaurant

Notice the guy who’s having dinner by himself at the far corner table? Well, what you waiting for? Get a waiter to introduce you or do it yourself. Either way, make a move.

11. Work

Either in your office or in the accounting on the 19th floor there must be that cute, nice, good-looking guy who makes your heart tick. Figure out where exactly he works, what’s his name, if he’s available, and let the flirting begin! Who knows, maybe the guy in the next cubicle is the one you were looking for all this time!

What does your Image say about you?

Image is the foundation of visual credibility, personal presence and non-verbal communications. Research has shown that when you project an image of confidence, you are more likely to succeed both professionally and socially.





Did you know that within 3 second of meeting you, your peers, co-workers, boss – everyone – have already determined 3 things about you:

1. Your socio-economic status
2. Your education level
3. Your desirability

Successful people believe their success is attributable to a pattern of mutually beneficial interpersonal relationships, as much as it is due to technical skills or business knowledge. Your communication and the image you present create the first impression - often the lasting impression - on the people you meet. Want a more professional image? How you present yourself is the first step in building that mutually beneficial network of contacts.

Studies by Dr. Albert Mehrabian at UCLA revealed that when we try to convey meaning through our communication with others, the majority of our message is communicated nonverbally and through voice and facial expression. Approximately seven percent of the message is communicated by words.
His studies revealed that up to 37% of a first impression is based upon the speaker's tone of voice. On the telephone, that number rises to 80% or higher, according to many communication consultants.

Improving your self-image, like improving any skill, takes time and practice. Developing good self-esteem involves encouraging a positive (but realistic) attitude toward yourself and the world around you and appreciating your worth, while at the same time behaving responsibly towards others. Self-esteem isn't self-absorption; it's self-respect.

By working from the inside out (focusing on changing your own way of thinking before changing the circumstances around you), you can build your self-esteem. The goal of this positive thinking is to give yourself a more positive self-concept, while seeing yourself honestly and accepting yourself, and removing the internal barriers that can keep you from doing your best. The consultants at Love Discovered will tailor make a session for you that ensure you get the maximum benefit in the least possible time. They are available on Skype so no need to travel to see them.

Not Marriage Material?

Contrary to the wisdom of pop songs, love is not enough to make a marriage work. Getting married means sharing your entire life with another person, so you want to make absolutely sure that he/she is someone you’ll be happy spending time with day in and day out. Keep an eye out for these warning signs that he/she will make a bad wife or husband and avoid committing to the wrong person.

Warning Signs

Your partner doesn’t want your friends around

A girl who disapproves of you hanging out with your friends will become a wife who doesn’t want you to have your own life outside of the marriage. Even if she’s not that fond of your buddies, she shouldn't stand in the way of you spending time with them on your own. Provided your friends aren’t convincing you to rob banks or some other objectionable behavior, she should trust you to make your own decisions about your friends. If she tries to restrict that now, it’ll only get worse after you say your vows.

She tries to change you

If your girlfriend is constantly nitpicking about your appearance, your behavior, your personality, your career path, your friends, and your habits, she is essentially telling you that you’re not good enough for her. Everyone can make improvements in their lives, and a good partner should help you become a better man, but if she’s forever on your case about changing one thing or another, she’s going to make a bad wife.

You also have to decide whether or not the things she’s asking you to change are reasonable or out of the question. Can you give up your vision of a loft downtown for her desire for a house in the suburbs? What if you’ve always wanted to be a father and she is dead-set against having children? Ask yourself how much you’re willing to give up to please her.

Libra Love secrets...

In the first of our Love Horoscope articles we take a look at Libra


Naturally romantic, Libra considers sex a way to express their love for another. Libra doesn’t like too much coarseness or vulgarity when they become intimately involved. 

However, reluctance to assert themselves may mean others don't take their sexual and emotional needs seriously. Libra can talk themselves into bed and then out the other side. So if the temperature's rising and they're still chatting, moisten their lips with yours and give them something else to chew on. 

Libra can alternate between active and passive so best to take the initiative; start the blood pumping by kissing and caressing their back, working your way down the spine from the nape of the neck to the bottom, dwelling on area of the lower back.



How to score with a Libran: Libra is a sucker for flattery but be subtle, dress well, send flowers, ask   their opinion and use silk sheets and soft lacy pillows.

Ideal date: Start with the opera or classical concert followed by a candlelit diner and then back home for some afters.

“I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.”

A horrible pick up line like that does not really deserve an answer. But won’t it be cool to have a witty retort that will put the wannabe Romeo in his place? We’re here to help! Here is a list of the worst pick up lines, that are amazingly still in heavy rotation, and witty comebacks.

Line: So what do you do for a living?
Comeback: I’m a female impersonator.

Line: Is this seat empty?
Comeback: Yes, and mine will be too if you sit down.

Line: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Comeback: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Line: Do you want to go back to my place?
Comeback: Will two people fit under a rock?

Line: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
Response: Do not Enter!

Line:  There is something wrong with my cell phone; it doesn’t have your number in it.
Comeback: It doesn't? Try under 'In your dreams’

Line: I know how to please a woman.
Comeback: Then please leave me alone.

Line: I want to give myself to you.
Comeback: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Line: I know you want me.
Comeback: You're right. I want you to go away

Line: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Comeback: Yes, but would you stay there?

Line: I would like to call you. What is your number?"
Comeback: It's in the phone book.
Line: But I don't know your name.
Comeback: That's in the phone book too.

Line: Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
Comeback:  Anytime... (Give directions him directions to the door)

Line: Guess what? It’s your lucky day. Out of all the girls here, I picked you to talk to.
Comeback:  Wow! It’s your lucky day too. Out of all the ways I could embarrass you right now…..I will just walk away.

Line: I would go through anything for you.
Comeback: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Line: Is your dad a terrorist? Cause you're the bomb!
Comeback: Looks like something already blew up in your face, I'd have thought you'd learnt your lesson.

So next time someone tries to pick you up with a very bad line don’t just go along with it because you do not know what to say.  Snap back with a witty retort. If all else fails just turn your back and ignore the person.

The best comeback for the “Flintstones” line..... I may not be Bam Bam, but I bet I can give you a lump on the head!

Facebook stalking etiquette

Googling a crush has become a common practise before any date. But not everyone is that Google’able, till the rise of social media that is. Now you can check up on his career history on LinkIn, read about her vacation in Cape Town on her blog or follow them tweet live tweet about standing in a queue at the Traffic Office. Then there is Facebook, the true goldmine of information.

The Urban dictionary defines Facebook stalking as:
                  A covert method of investigation using facebook.com. Good for discovering a wealth of 
                  information about people you don't actually know.


Facebook stalking has become a relatively acceptable as long as you adhere to the “etiquette”.

Don’t...
...like photos at two in the morning of albums posted two years ago
...Facebook stalk from your cellphone, it’s just too easy to accidently like something that you really don’t like. At all.
...pretend to like his favourite band in order to impress him before Facebook stalking them as well
...make assumptions. So what if he likes Glee, it does not mean he is... well...
...go too deep. In other words check out the guy she is tagged with then his friends as well as the page of the place he works at etc. It’s a slippery slope to crazy, tread carefully.

The Golden Rule: Don't leave a trace that you where there!

What to Wear on a First Date

After months of chatting to the love of your life in the LoveDiscovered.co.za’s chat rooms you have decided to take the next big step... Meeting in “real life”, for a date! Your slouchy t-shirt of Sponge Bob is best left for online meetings; you know when you’re the only one who has to look at it. You need to suit up! 

Clothing increases your appeal

Wear clothing that accentuates your best features. Bright colours tend to work for dark hair people while pastels and muted colours do wonders for those with fair hair. Play around with different clothing to see what works best. Worn correctly one can hide problem areas such as saddle bags.

Consider the occasion and venue
Ensure that you're familiar with the dress code. Double-check if it is a formal restaurant or a casual lounge atmosphere and dress accordingly. If you are uncertain you can always take along a jacket (for the men) or formal accessories (ladies) to jazz up your outfit. But don’t fret if you get it wrong, an inappropriate outfit can be a good icebreaker. The key is not to be self conscious and to own your look.

If all else fails....

 A little black dress is always a good outfit to fall back on. Dress your LBD up with heals or down with high-top Converse sneakers, you can’t go wrong. 

On the other side of the colour spectrum, a crisp white shirt works wonders on men. Wear the shirt with jeans to a movie or with slacks to a five-star restaurant.

Finding True Love

Regardless of our culture, our level of education or economic status, at the depth of all of us are the same desires- to love, to be loved, and to be happy.
Of course we could add other desires to this list, like money and wealth and fancy things, but when you drill into these things, the reason for wanting them is so that we can appear more desirable, and will hopefully be loved and accepted.

If love is something so fundamentally important to us, then why is it that we have so many issues and misunderstandings in the area of finding it? I think the answer is simple, that most of us have never been educated in this fundamental area of our development. Chances are, you didn’t grow up with parents who were relationship experts, and we certainly didn’t study relationships in our high school curriculums.

For most of us, it’s been an adventure in trial and error and learning through pain and heart-break. But is there an easier way?

I believe it is crucial to identify and clearly communicate our relationship expectations and personal timelines early on in the dating phase. So often, we get into relationships with silent expectations of a future event that is important to us, thinking that our partner will come around to it when the time is right, only to find out several years later that things will never work out the way we expected. Some common unspoken issues of this nature revolve around marriage, children, financial goals, and even which city you settle down in.

First, be clear with yourself on these types of issues. Understand what kind of commitment you are looking for in a relationship, how you feel about children and where you plan to live. There are no wrong answers, but be honest and specific about what you are looking for in the current stage of your life.

Next, tell yourself that on all of your first dates, you will be clear with people about your relationship expectations and timeline, if any. It can be a scary and awkward experience at first, but it will become less of a nerve racking experience over time. And just think of all the time and emotional energy you are saving by being open from the get-go, instead of setting silent expectations that can lead to disappointment.